“So great a sweetness
flows into my breast
We must laugh and we
must sing
We are blest by
everything
Everything we look upon
is blest.”
W.B. Yeats
A friend of mine
described how she lay at night whilst challenges of motherhood
floated around her and she felt the saint within her. I considered
this and found it a very useful idea in viewing myself as a mother
and how to be with my family. Over the last few weeks I have
remembered to consider my saintly essence, the one that yes we all
certainly have! No matter how many regrets, frustrations, and dreams
of doing something completely different we may have in one day!
For me, the saint is my
higher self; the part of you that is all knowing and has the perfect
knowledge to guide you on your way on. The wise woman who is the
past, present and future, triple goddess: maiden, mother and
crone. The part of us that has come from our mothers, grandmothers
and ancestral women through time and holds universal truths.
So where is this saint? We may think as we bend down to pick up another piece of food that our child has dropped on the floor, not perhaps feeling very glamorous or indeed saintly. I think the answer is that it is with us in every moment. It is our awareness. It is not there cleaning the house immaculately, it is in the moment we lovingly fold our children's clothes; it does not prepare a perfect meal, it is in the moment we lovingly offer the meals we prepare, it does not always prepare a busy, fun packed day, it is in the moment that we look into their eyes and theirs meet yours and all you feel is love. And in all other moments of pure joy.
Sometimes the saint in
our children welcomes the saint in us too. As my baby wakes for the
third time in the last half hour and I go to her to settle her to
sleep, I realise I am biting my nails thinking about all the things
that I am going to do when I go downstairs that night. She takes my
hand and holds it. In the soft tenderness of her gentle grasp, I
remember that these moments are the most beautiful ones: lying with
her in her presence as we are bonded with the closeness, the milk and
the warmth I offer her, the reminder she gives me that the truth is
love.
Sometimes the saint in
us guides us to do nothing, but show compassion. Our children are
whole people who experience a roller coaster of emotions, as we all
do and sometimes their behaviours are irrational and unpredictable
and we find them hard to witness. We don't always have to react. I am
finding that sometimes what feels like the best mothering is simply
being there with love and compassion; listening, holding, watching,
preparing a sort of aura of love for them to wreak chaos within and
yet always be protected.
Sometimes the saint in
us just listens... listens to constant demands, upset, without
getting pulled into other people's emotions. It thinks, what is
needed here? Most of the time, I have found that when my child is out
of sorts they just need to be shown some love, some time, be played
with. It reminds us of what is truly important. Those simple moments
with our children can really feed their soul.
So, rather than feel
like there should be this or that which we should be doing, I have
come to the conclusion that if we feel out of balance as parents,
bringing our awareness into the situation is what is needed. And,
more than anything, it helps to remember what we have done that day
that we feel good about. For what we think about manifests, so more
goodness will the follow. And know that the saint within us will
always guide us on our way.
I thank your wisdom friends as we journey together through the beautiful path of motherhood.
We were all forged in
the living heart of stars and the light reigns within us. We are
stardust. We are golden.
